Chapter 31




Chapter 31
My bed is the most uncomfortable.  Its the most comfortable when its right.  But after a night of tossing and turning it falls apart.  It is a futon mattress on top of a twin mattress.  Once a week I pull half of it up against the wall and tuck the side of it under itself so I sleep in a half pipe of mattress.  And then filled with huge pillows and fluffy comforters, It is the most comfortable .  A hammock beside me hanging from the bunk bed that it is and a large bamboo window blind to sheath me in a cave of more comfort.  Tonight it is not comfortable.  It is falling to the ground and I'm to lazy to get off it to fix it...  Fixed that, never mind.  Now I'm the most comfortable.
My television is on the fritz.  My cable is going out.  Not from all the normal reasons that a television would go out.  My television is going out because I'm moving.  I am moving because of the guy I want to skewer.  And the side of this miserable far off majestic wilderness that I'm moving doesn't have the cable connection.  In fact the guy, the guy that has his own channel to talk and explain the dish network and how to use it told me through the television that I'm ditching them.  I'm not ditching you dish!  Your are amazing and awesome and I would plug you in forever.  I hope the fine that you incur for me cutting out early in our agreement isn't the maximum of some one thousand dollars.  I would like to see you in the future and I hope this doesn't ruin our relationship.  
I did not predict the future yesterday.  Everything different that could have happened differently happened.  I think its because I didn't have a red bull.  Instead I had a different caffeinated beverage and then everything was different.  Still a day filled with pretend talk and noises.  There is a buzz at the hotel that I cannot quite put my finger on.  I see light at the end of this tunnel.  Being stuck in this seemingly eternal darkness that demanded that I succumb to the god complexed control over the people I let in  my life is driving me quite insane.   I don't know if you've read the previous chapters, but I'm going quite insane.  I mean how hard would it be to have lunch with me and not whisper the support of some rap deity's third arm, "James."  To have control over me in a subject we can only ever listen about but never talk about. 
The critic woke up, as its the middle of the night and told me to "wait." 
I am thirsty.  I drink an abnormal amount of water I think.  Where does it go?  I am fucking parched.  If there was a way to trick my brain into thinking that water was constantly flowing through the back of my throat.  Is that some sort of disorder as well, drinking to much water?.  Someone that can't stop drinking water?  I can see it.   Its so far away.  My jar of water.  At the end of my most comfortable bed and I want it.  OK, I will get it, as I am thirsty.... That was difficult.  As I had to do three huge rocking sit ups to get the balance to pull forward myself the edge of the most comfortable bed to get my water.  The things I do for myself.  
I want to kiss one of the girls at work.  If she is there tomorrow I am going to ask her if she wants to try something awesome, and then I'm going to tell her to kiss me.  And then I am going to put my arms in the air and say, "Awesome."  And tell her that we should play hooky.  And go to the river for a picnic.   I may have already said that in this book.  But I will say it twice if so.
Go back to bed critic.  You may not read this yet.
I am thirsty still, and my waters gone.  Did you know cows use the ocean as a salt lick.  Whoops.  I can't tell Costa Rica stories before the Costa Rica story.  We are not ready to go there yet.  I still need to make sure my move goes well and I am not evicted.  
Yeah, um.  I don't know what to talk about.  You got any ideas critic?  Are you here?  You want to play tic tac toe or something?
Thats a good idea.  I will go see if he's there.
He wasn't there.  I miss Oregon and its quality of my anxiety satisfyer.  I can't sleep anymore.  Its something I need to talk to the counselor about.  They brought it up in our brief phone conversation.  Its a hassle, but it makes the day longer, like I get two days for the price of one.
The critic is reminding me I'm thirsty.  Thanks critic.  Did you want to do something about that?
Can anyone explain why neosporin smells like pee.
Fell asleep for the last two  hours before work.  The 7am alarm woke me up from a dream I was on an airplane jam packed with people I had to climb a pole and slowly lower myself into my seat where a sexy Indian chick showed me a little knick she got from over crowding and then I showed her my elbow which was horribly black and blue and swollen to look dislocated.  The second alarm clock at 8 am woke me up from a dream I was in high school and we had been given a project to do, I'm not sure what the project was but we had to pair up, and a guy I know from high school was making the biggest deal as to why we should work together.
I went to work.  This is the third week in a row that I messed up and showed up early to a shift I have later in the day.  Red Bull and Mountian due and no sleep, my head feels funny.  Talked to housing.  I'm going to take a truck load of stuff to my new room.