Dreams are just dreams... Aren't they?
I had the worse nightmare I have had in the longest time last night. I am on Hardcore Anti-psychotics to help me not dream, and let me sleep for more than a few minutes at a time without having to drink myself to death... I dreamed of my best friend who is still in the throws of a life i would not wish for anyone... One that I have lived myself. .
I'm inside a room, my best friend is with a man that I know well, yet don't know... I recognize him, but don't know what to call him... I can't watch him do what I know he is doing, planning, methodically plotting for my bestie... So I leave the room. I leave as he has her by the throat. Somehow I feel as though she wants to be there, that she has done this to herself.
The sounds of struggle ensue... screaming kicking gagging and fighting, just not fighting hard enough... Even though I am not in the room I know what is happening, she is slowly losing the battle to stay conscious, the life draining from her as HE chokes the life out of her.
I stay outside of thiis room, waiting till it is over, not knowing what I am staying for... This villain, do I turn him in? Do I take care of my friends body cuz I am loyal to her, then try to retaliate... I know that I am an accessory to this death for not doing anything to stop it, but still I do nothing. Eventually This man brings her out in a white blanket, DEAD... LIFELESS... PALE as the blanket itself. I think for a moment about bringing this man to justice and I realize that there is no one there. Just me and my friend who died because I did nothing to stop her demise.
I awoke immediately... smoked a cigarette, and went back to try to sleep once more without falling back into the same round of nightmares of which i just awoke. I was successful. I woke a little while later feeling a great pressure, I just didn't know what it was. I went to coffee, church, and then walked home. Once I got home I turned on the computer and typed in her name to check her page. No posts since day before yesterday.... Eh, she is probably on one real good and just isn't posting. I write on her wall, "Call me, NOW, luv u" she responds "I'm not able love" I call her anyway, she answers and gives me an alternate number, she's in tears. I call that number immediately and tell her of my dream, and tell her that something has her by the throat, she is in danger, she needs to go in a NEW DIRECTION OR SHE WILL DIE.
It turns out she has a severe abscess and needs to go to the hospital, she knows she's in trouble other ways as well, I tell her after they treat her for that she needs to do something else, I don't know what or she WILL DIE. (I think that she knows what... Just not how)
I hope she believes me...
I am tired of losing friends to the villain of addiction. The one who puts us in dangers beyond our wildest imagination. Puts us around people that will kill us, sometimes those people are us.
She said she was going to call 911 when she hung up... UGH...
DON'T WAIT FOR A DREAM TO REACH OUT AND HELP A FRIEND WHO IS STRUGGLING, AT THAT POINT IT MAY BE TOO LATE