My Embarrassing Sting Story

Once upon a time, Sting was starring in Three Penny Opera at the Lyceum Theater on Broadway (I think it was the Lyceum and most theaters are on the side streets and not ACTUALLY on Broadway.) ANYWAY...

I was working at 44th and Broadway in Times Square and that theater was only a couple of blocks away. When I'd leave work for the bus station, some nights I would walk a couple of blocks out of my way, past the Lyceum, on the off chance I might bump into Sting.

It could happen!

I'd figured out by my walks that if there were a few fans standing near the stage door and no Jaguar by the curb, Sting had not yet arrived. So one night, as I was getting ready to leave my office, I gathered my things, stopped by the bathroom and headed out the door. I walk the couple of blocks through Times Square and around the corner, I see the cluster of fans and no car. I walk over to join them to watch Sting walk the ten feet from the car to the stage door and maybe get an autograph. Just as I'm walking up, the Jag rounds the corner and is heading towards me! And there he is! He has a driver and Sting is sitting right there! I smile really big, all excited and cross the street in front of his car.

Everyone waiting to see him begins a smattering of spontaneous applause, a couple of people call out his name and he gets out of the car and waves. I'm thrilled!!!

Then, he looks right at me. My breath stops in my chest. I feel faint... He starts walking over to me. My heart is jumping out of my chest as he leans in close and whispers in my ear:

" 'Scuse me, luv, but yer skirt's tooked oop in the back of yer tights"

It didn't register at first.

And then I look back to see that when I had gone to the bathroom before leaving my office, my skirt got caught in the back of my pantyhose.

I walk through Times Square in New York City, thousands of people from all over the world milling about AND STING HAS TO BE THE ONE TO TELL ME MY ASS IS HANGING OUT.

But you know what that meant, don't you?

Sting was checking me out...


Grief and rage
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