The worst night of my life.




The worst night of my life. I was 19 years old. I had a great job working for an ambulance company while I went to EMT school. I lived at home with my mother in a suburb of Boston and if you didn't know me that well you would think I had all of my stuff together. That however, was not the case. You never would have thought it by looking at us but my friends and I were a pretty seedy group of guys when we were younger. We went to a lot of parties, drank a lot of booze and did a lot of drugs.

 

Well, one night on dec. 15, 2001 my friends and I all decided we were going to do some acid. The deal went down at my house and I was holding everything for my friends who were going to come over in a few hours. I took 4 hits around 6pm, and as soon as it kicked in I went into my living room and started watching figure skating with my mother.

 

She had no idea that her son was sitting next to her frying on 4 hits of acid while they watched pairs figure skating. 4 hits is generally considered a large amount to do at once. I started doing it when I was 15 or so and had built up quite a "tolerance" to the drug. Well around 8 o clock I decided I wanted to do a little more but I had already eaten what I had paid for. So I went over to the stash I was holding for my friends and stole some of theirs, I couldnt tell you exactly how much I took that night.

So the night comes and my friend Brian is the only one who sticks around after everyone divvies up their share so we head out. We walk around our town, slowly making our way to nowhere in particular when we ended up at a local park we often hung out at. I really don't remember how it happened but for some reason my friend picked up a trash barrel that someone had set out to be picked up and he threw it at my face. I remember standing there, watching it come at me in slow motion. Thinking to myself "Hmm, I should probably get out of the way...wow, everything is going in slow-mo... this is weir..*SMACK*

 

The barrel hits me in the face.

 

I am struck with disbelief for a moment. I cant believe he was stupid enough to do that. My forehead felt like I had a nasty sunburn. I kept my head lowered and kind of chuckled as I walked towards Brian. As soon as I got within striking distance I pulled a pair of scissors out of my pocket (no idea where they came from) and  proceeded to thrust them at him. He put his hand in front of his chest and as soon as the tip of the scissors touched him I realized what I was about to do, shrieked like a child and begged him to forgive me. Luckily he was just as messed up as I was so he didnt hold it against me.

 

That is where things started to go bad. For some reason after that happened I kept picking on Brian. I would flinch at him like I was going to hit him, disregard things he said and insult him. This went on for about an hour until we decided to go back to my house and get indoors. Right before we walked into my house he said to me "Justin, can you stop being mean to me, it is really messing with my head, I don't feel right right now." I apologized to him sincerely, I didn't normally pick on him it was just something in the drug that was messing with me that night.

So we go upstairs and 2 more of my friends come over. They had also partaken in the consumption of the drug that night and we decided we were gonna finish the ride together, hanging out in my room like we normally did. For a while things were great, we were talking, making jokes and laughing. Then, suddenly, my friend Brian flicks his cigarette across the room once he was done with it. The three of us looked at eachother, this was not something Brian would normally do, for obvious reason. We called him on it but he just said "yea, yea, don't worry about it". A few minutes later we came to the realization that Brian was on a completely different ride than the rest of us.....

We were talking about something, I don't remember what, when Brian joined into the conversation with a completely random statement that had nothing to do with what anyone was talking about. Again, we all looked at eachother and finally I said it "Guys, Brian is really messed up right now, in a bad way"

We then spent the next hour debating what to do over and over. We would start talking about what to do for a few minutes then there would be a pause. Then someone would say "Guys, Brian is really messed up right now, in a bad way" and we would again discuss what to do for five minutes before repeating this cycle over and over for an hour. By this time my friend DJ started to appear like he was losing his mind as well. Drugs like acid and mushrooms can really give you a bad time if the people around you are having a bad time. He was so worried about Brian having a bad trip he started to have one of his own. So I tell Gilbert, who is just as messed up as I am at the moment that he has to take DJ and leave. I can't handle 2 guys overdosing in my house. DJ was not past being saved... Brian was far beyond gone already.

 

By this point Brian hadn't said anything in about 2 hours. At one point when we were discussing what was wrong with him I had a flash of extreme irritation with him and I threw a fake punch at him, He screamed, started crying for a few minutes and then went silent after that.

 

So now i'm here, basically alone. My best friend dying next to me as far as I can tell. I tried everything I could think of to get him to talk to me. I talked about his family, told him I was sorry. Told him that I loved him and that he needed to get better...

 

Nothing....

 

So from about 2am-4am I sat in the dark with my ear to his chest, holding him and listening to his heart-beat. I didn't know what else to do. I figured as long as he was alive I could take care of him, monitor his vitals and hope the drugs wear off. After 2 hours of holding him I had to go to the bathroom. I stand up, stumble over to the light switch and turn the light on.

I see him blink....

 

I flick the light switch on and off....

 

He blinks and cocks his head, looking at me.

I did this for about 30 minutes, all while talking to him and trying to get him to stand up and then finally he does.

"Hey, whats up Justin?" He says to me

THANK GOD!! He knows who I am! He snapped out of it! He is going to be ok!!

"Brian, are you ok?" I say to him hesitantly

"I know right? Thats what I said" he says, while laughing

"No, Brian, listen to me. You are really messed up on drugs right now man are you ok" I say to him, fearing the worst

"Thats why I don't work there any more" he says to me.

 

Are you kidding me?

This is worse!

Now not only is he still messed up but he's walking around, touching things and looking at stuff.

I follow him out to the kitchen where I find him fiddling with some garland we had hung as a christmas decoration.

"Brian, my mom is sleeping....You gotta get back in my room!" I whisper to him.

"Yea, I know, right?" he says to me while laughing loudly.

That was pretty much the turning point for me when he said that. Brian was a good kid, my mom loved him, he loved my mom. He would NEVER do anything that he knew would upset her. My friend was literally out of his mind and I knew it now. I tried to grab him by his hand and lead him into my room, he shoved me with a mean look on his face and said "Get off of me" I nervously pleaded him to stop, told him I was his friend and that I loved him which actually prompted a legitimate response. He started to weep for a few seconds and apologize to me. I told him it was ok and gave him a hug then he started walking around my living room, wandering dangerously close to the doorway of my mothers bedroom.

Now I said it was Dec. 15th. I am pretty sure that the only reason I remember the exact date that it happened is because dec. 15th is my mothers birthday. I wasn't about to wake my mom up on her birthday and explain the situation. I would find a way around it. I walk over to Brian and I say "Brian, you are really messed up right now. Do you want me to call an ambulance?"

He stopped what he was doing, looked at me very seriously and said "Yes" then went back to playing with the garland.

My heart sank. I obviously did not want to have to call 911 in my state of mind, in the situation I was in but I had too. Images of myself behind bars or at Brian's funeral flashed into my head as I dialed the numbers.

9

1

1

"911, what is your emergency"

"Uhh, My friend called me and told me he had taken some acid and needed a place to go, I was worried so I let him stay at my house but now I think he is overdosing"

Pretty smooth huh?

Let's not forget that I had taken way more acid than Brian had, so don't let it be said that I can't handle my stuff!

I explain to the operator that my friend is not responding to things I say and that he is saying things that make no sense. I tell her i'm worried he might flip out and attack me or something. She asks me if he has any weapons and I reply "No, but he's standing in a kitchen with a drawer full of knives, ya know?"

She says to me "Try to get him to lock himself in the bathroom"

At this moment i'm thinking "Lady, that is literally the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my life."

"Hey, Brian.. Go lock yourself in the bathroom."

He walks over to the bathroom. Enters it and locks himself in.

I can't believe that actually worked!

So I stand by my front door, waiting for the parade of cop cars and ambulances to show up at my house at 5am. And sure enough they do, and guess what they sent a Cataldo Ambulance! I work for Cataldo Ambulance and so does my mother!

This is not going to end well for me. I open my front door and tell the first cop I see that my friend is locked in the bathroom. Another cop comes up the stairs, takes one look at me and says "Is this the guy?"

"No, no, no" I reply, as I try to button my pants. "I am fine, its my friend"

Looking back i'm sure my pupils were about the size of a penny, they had to have known.

So one by one they pour into my house. I plead with them not to speak loudly because my mother is sleeping and it is her birthday. It was inevitable that she would hear what was going on and wake up, which she did. She comes out in her nightgown being stared down by 14 cops and 8 of her co-workers. I explain to her whats going on and she just rolls her eyes and mutters a few curse words under her breath.

All this time Brian is still locked in the bathroom, with the light off. The cops ask him a couple of times to unlock it but he tells them that he can't. At one point he even sarcastically yelled at the cop "I'm effin trying here buddy but its kinda dark in here" Looking back it was pretty hilarious. So after 3-4 minutes of this they just kick down the door and drag him out. I am screaming "Don't hurt him, don't hurt him!" while they slap the handcuffs on him.

At this point i'm thinking  "Ok, here it comes, i'm going to jail"

The cops leave....

The EMT's leave...

Only one stays behind, she asks me his parents name and telephone number and then she leaves as well. My mother cusses at me one more time, shuts the lights off and goes back to bed.

 

It was over.

There I sat, in the dark, by myself.

They didnt ask me a single question about where I got the stuff, how much he took, how much I had left, if I had taken any of it myself. No one asked me any questions.

It was over.

My friend was gonna be ok, I wasn't going to get in trouble at all. I couldnt believe it.

I had just spent 2 hours in the dark listening to my friends heart to make sure it was working, then another hour trying to stop him from hurting himself or anyone else....

But...

It was over.